Blog #23: Reflective Prompts...the last blog (wow already?)

Reflective Prompts

1. What are your plans as a writer (how do you expect to use writing in your future)?
My plans as a writer are to simply continuing writing. I’ve always had a knack for creativity and story telling and so I won’t stop now. Writing will always be part of me whether it’s teaching or writing for my own pleasure. I do hope to write more non-fiction since I was exposed to it and enjoy it.

2. Describe any changes in your writing style.
There have been some changes in my writing style. Instead of just writing fiction stories, I have learned how to write nonfiction. I also started to write more reflections and thoughts rather than just a story.

3. Describe any changes in your writing process.
When it comes to writing, my main goal is to get my idea down on paper or word before I forget. Once I come up with an idea I just run with it. I like to write a rough draft and print it out. After I print it, I can reread it and make corrections and some suggestions. I like having my essays in my hands because I feel its more effective this way. It helps me see what parts are good and what parts need work. In terms of change I really don’t think there was a change; I mean I didn’t have a writing journal until this class. I just stare at the blinking cursor until an idea pops into my head. So a writing journal is something new and i plan to keep it handy in case i ever have the urge to write.

4. Describe any changes in your attitude toward/interest in/understanding of writing in general, and CNF in particular.
Writing in general can be tedious or fun. It really depends on the topic and what its for. For instance, writing a term paper can be extremely tedious especially if the topic is boring. However with this class we were really allowed to write about whatever we wanted as long as it fit the guidelines. I really liked that because I feel if given a choice, the effort and the result would be stronger. I still like writing and plan to continue writing whenever the free time comes around. Creative nonfiction was something I was never exposed to before. I was nervous in the beginning because I wasn’t sure if I could write non-fiction. Well guess what I actually can! I think its good to be exposed to different styles of writing. i never looked at objects in the way the class exposed me too. it gave me a whole new perspective. This class really got me excited about writing!

5. What have you learned about yourself as a writer?
As a writer I learned I can do more than I knew I could. As I mentioned before I didn’t think I could write nonfiction. Well it’s the end of the course and I wrote four nonfiction essays, go figure.

6. What features of your writing do you feel are most important for you to work on?
So I thought about this question for a bit because I wasn’t exactly sure. After looking at my long essays, I figured it out. I can be indecisiveness about my writing in terms of what parts aren’t necessary versus necessary. I tend to want to write everything out so the reader can understand and follow along. Sometimes it isn’t necessary and so I have to work on that. work on cutting out parts that arent neccessary and or irrevelent. Because I like to talk, my stories and such take more than a couple of pages.

Blog 22: Revised Draft # 3

Sent my revised essay as an email attachment =)

Blog 21: Publication Venue Presentation

Handout

After much researching and browsing, I think I finally found a place of publication. Let me tell you all about it.

Essay: As of this moment I have two essays that are related to the theme of the next issue's magazine. I am torn between two of my essays, "The Shell Smashing Speech" and "Just Jump."

• "The Shell Smashing Speech" is my essay that talks about how i overcame my fear of public speaking. it wasn't always easy for me to stand in front of a room and talk. I used to be a very very shy person, and now i can't keep quiet. the content of my essay involves three seperate stories of when i had to make a presentation. It goes from one of the horrible times to a presentation where it took guts and creativity to pull off.


• "Just Jump" is the second essay that i have written. This one is about a time i wanted to jump off the diving boards. One of the diviving boards was higher than the other. Well the lower diving board was packed, and so i went over to the higher one. I climbed to the top, and well....you can probably guess what happened next.

Place of Publication: The place i chose to send one of my two essays is to a magazine called Slice Magazine. (http://www.slicemagazine.org/index.php) They are a Brooklyn based nonprofit magazine, who understand that it's not easy to have your voice heard. Well-known writers and emerging writers are encouraged.

A quote from their site...."We're looking for anyone with a fresh voice and a compelling story to share--basically any work that really knocks our socks off."

Reading that quote gave me hope and also made me excited because it seems like I have a shot. I always say at least try because if you don't try, how will you truly know the outcome? They seem friendly, easy-going, and welcoming.

Subject Matter: Each of their issues are dedicated to a special theme. In their first issue, the theme was New Beginnings. The theme of their second issue was Heroes. For their third issue, the theme was in translation. Submissions for their fourth issue has ended, and so they did not mention the theme. The theme for their fifth issue is Fear. Seeing how their theme is fear, i immeditaely thought "Hey my first two essays are about fears, Perfect!"

Voice: The voice of this magazine is easy-going, compelling, and fun. i feel my essay fits with the voice of the magazine because my essays have some humor to them even though they are serious.

Modes of Writing

Form: The form of the magazines is short stories, poetry, interviews, fiction, nonfiction, and novellas.

Length: This was the tricky part. There was no mention of length. Browsing their online site, i came across a question asked by someone whose piece was 8,750 words. they were told while it may be too long for their blog, they can send it to the magazine. Now my essays fall in between 2,000- 3,000 words, so i will stick to the magazine.

Politics: The political and cultural orientation of the venue is general. They welcome established writers as well as emergining writers.

Characterization of the niche

The audience of Slice Magazine are people from all over the world.

The purpose, according to Slice Magazine is, "We aim to spark a dialogue between emerging and established writers. In each issue, a specific cultural theme becomes the catalyst for short stories, articles, interviews, and poems from renowned writers and lesser known voices alike."

Submission dates: Submissions will be taken from February 1st to April 1st of 2009. They ask to wait two to three months for a reply. They also ask to include detailed contact information. There is no fee

Manuscript Form: Submissions are to be sent electronically, in the body of an email. Manuscripts that are sent as attachments will not be looked at.

My essay in terms of the publication venue

After i decided to go with Slice Magazine, I browsed through some pieces that already exist. However, in order to browse some articles I had to subscribe. I saw Blog at the top of the site and so i clicked on it. My curiosity led me their blog site which had actual stories. I included an exerpt from their blog site.

"Welcome to our “Slices of Life” blog. The concept is simple: we want to take the time to focus on the little things in life that we normally would let pass us by, but that are actually the details that make the world extraordinary. We’ll be posting entries every few days from folks across the globe describing something they observe that makes them pause and smile or ponder their surroundings. We hope these everyday observations allow you to see the world in a new way. Enjoy!"

Some of the blog essays that I came across were called "Moods of New York" "Beer Goggles" 'Passing " and more. I know im steering away from the magazine, but i couldnt find any articles on the magazine site. This blog site is affiliated with the magazine. My essay itself differentiates from the others. It is unique and it talks about something we are all familiar with, diving boards and swimming pools, mentioned in my second essay.

Blog # 20: Relationship To My Essays

When it came to writing these essays, I had a few obstacles to jump over. The first was writer's block. What am i going to write about? I have a good idea in mind but i need to get it on paper. Once i was able to get my thoughts down on paper, the next step was to make sure it was creative nonfiction. The creative part came naturally, however I was stuck on whether or not it was nonfiction. After a few tries, I finally understood the concept. All of my essays have something to do with me and my life. Some of the topics were good things, while others were not so much good things. They were a mixture of emotions. I find it good to write about different emotions because in a way it is like therapy and it also helps in terms of clearing your thoughts in mind. It was easy to recall these moments and write about them. I am proud and happy with the essays that I have written.
In terms of revising my essay, I am not one hundred percent sure of how I am going to revise it. I have to put my essay aside and come back to it at a different time, so i can look at it fresh. If I do that I will see it in a different way and maybe something will trigger, such as a new idea, or a way I can change this or that. One thing I can say about it, is that throughout the revising process, I learn more and more about my writing and writing in general.

Blog #18: Draft of Essay 4

As I closed the refrigerator, I looked at the magnets and pictures that were on the fridge. On the freezer are a lot of magnets and photos. On the actual fridge part are two magnets and a sticker of where my siblings and I went to college. One of them is a Rider University magnet, where my brother is currently attending. My brother and I didn’t always get along, we had the typical brother and sister relationship.
. . .

Refrigerator magnets are often used to hold important notes on the refrigerator door. In this case, the Rider University refrigerator magnet holds the memory of the day my little brother left for college.
. . .

5:45 in the morning on a Sunday. It was a pretty hectic morning. We had to be out the door in an hour. An hour with four people in the house? Oh boy you bet it’s going to be fun. Ok I managed to eat two pancakes with some orange juice before hopping into the shower. It was a quick shower just enough time to wake up some more. I have no idea what to wear. I know it isn’t a fashion show, but I want to look somewhat presentable. I don’t think people are going to care about fashion while carrying boxes and hampers up the flight of stairs to their dorm rooms. Giving up on searching, I put on black Capri stretch pants and a maroon shirt.
Double-checking the van, we look around to make sure we have everything my brother needs. His room looks depressing because there isn’t much left in it. Its going to feel weird having the top floor of our house all to myself. I don’t like to be alone, and I am going to miss my brother being in the next room.
. . .
Even though it was only a forty-five minute ride, it felt like two hours. For starters, everyone in my family but my mother have “a heavy foot.” So of course that meant my brother was flying on the road, while my mother was being cautious trying not to overly exceed the speed limit while keeping an eye on my brother. My mom has been at the school with my brother before, but there are a few turns she isn’t sure about. Needless to say at least my brother will get there.

As we reached the town of Milltown, we become stuck behind a cop car. The cop decides to take all the time in the world and refuses to speed up. Now I’m not asking the cop to go a hundred miles, but just to move a little faster would be nice. We are watching as my brother slowly swerves back and forth because he is becoming anxious and just wants to get to school already. Five minutes later the cop makes a right turn into an empty restaurant. My brother glances at him as he presses down on the gas pedal and continues to go. Luckily the cop didn’t take notice, and we proceeded to continue the drive.
. . .
Finally pulling up to the school was a relief. We reach the school and see no one. We reach the school and see no one. We park in the visitors’ parking lot for now. In just a few hours my brother will be starting life at a new college, and I’ll be going home to a house of just three people not the usual four. We pull up to find four lanes with flags created to ease the moving in traffic. It is still early and move in isn’t until eight am. Its 7:15 right now that means we have forty-five minutes until we can begin the process of moving in. What is with forty-five minutes and me today? I have no idea.
. . .
On your marks, get set, gooooooooooo! The cars are off. First lap around and driver # 18 is in the lead. Wooohooo! Ok I know it wasn’t Nascar but the way it was set up, it felt like so. A blonde bubbly girl came over to my brother’s car to give him a number and something else. After she put the card on his windshield she bubbly proceeded over to our van. The girls topped as my mother rolled down the window to say hello. The girl smiled and explained to my mother that she is going to write the room number and the hall on an orange card and place it on the windshield. This card is for the campus people to know which cars are going to what building and what room in the particular building. After she put the card on the window, she kept talking with us. She told my parents how she moved in a few days ago and was excited about the other people moving in. Those who were in sports move in a few days earlier. I wasn’t sure what her sport was but by the looks of her attitude and outfit I am guessing she was a cheerleader.
. . .
"Hey brother, i need to use your laptop to print my paper for tomorrow morning. Can I send it to you and print it off your computer?" "Sure, just give me a few minutes. Email it to me." "Ok thanks!"

Eight a.m.!!!! Yes! It’s time to go. All the engines start up and the cars proceeded to go over to the dorms. I felt the adrenaline rush, and I was excited.
. . .
Being the middle child has its advantages and disadvantages. It seems likes everything skipped over me. For instance I played softball when I was younger but I stopped playing in middle school. The sports continued with my older sister and younger brother. They both continued playing sports until they graduated high school. My sister was the tennis star while my brother was the starter pitcher for the varsity baseball team. They were both popular in school and I was just there. My sister was extremely into her studies, I was semi into it, and my brother although who did his work, was more into the social life of school. They both had dealt with acne and thank goodness that skipped me. One thing about being the middle child is you have to fight for attention. This wasn’t the case. I can honestly say I was a spoiled child, but I am not one hundred percent innocent today. I received plenty of attention from my parents. Both my sister and my brother went away to school, and I commute to Kean University. I am happy with that because I feel more comfortable living at home.
. . .
We reach the dorms. We are the first car to show up. Wow we won the race! We get out of our cars and begin to take out the stuff. WAIT!! Did you know that we do not do a thing? Students volunteer to take everything for you up to the floor. They place the stuff outside your dorm room. So my parents are getting the stuff out handing it to the students. I’m standing on the gray sidewalk just looking like an idiot because there is nothing for me to do right now. People are asking me what room I’m in. I am like it’s not me. My brother is the one going here. Maybe I shouldn’t have worn a maroon shirt to the school where their colors are maroon and white.

BEEEEEEEEEEEEP, BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP, BEEEEEEEEEEEEP, BEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPP! As mom was going to get stuff from the backseat of my brother’s car, his car alarm went off. Go freaking figure. My brother already went to get his key to see his room, and the rest of us are standing out here trying to get into his car to the backseat. After trying, my mom told me to get my brother to get his keys. I walk up to the building in to find five people sitting at a table with letters taped to the table. Ok I find R-Z and ask the girl if a really tall skinny kid named Michael came in yet. She goes yes he is the first one here; he will be right back down. Not thinking that I could have gone up, to the third floor, I went back outside to meet my parents. They tell me to go back up there, and so I did. As I reached the second floor I met my brother and told him mom tried to get into your backseat, and in trying to do she set off the car alarm.

Three flights of stairs later and we reach my brother’s dorm room. His room is right by the stairs, which is good and bad. It’s close to the staircase in case of emergency, however he has to hear everyone who comes up the stairs. In the room are three desks, three beds, and three dressers. It turns out my brother will be in a triple until there’s room for someone to move out. It was suppose to be two people but he got stuck with two other guys. Minutes later his first roommate, Mike showed up. Mike seems like he can get along with my brother. Along with Mike came his girlfriend Brittany. Mike only live fifteen minutes away, and I guess his parents did not want to come? We never found that part out, whatever. So we hang around as my brother begins unpacking his belongings and arranging his things in the room. His desk is in the far left corner of the room by the window, and his bed is behind it. By the door is his closet. The arrangement on the other side of the window is the same. In the back, middle of the room, is three dressers.
. . .
Reality is setting in that my little brother is officially not going to be living at home. Even though I call him my “little brother”, he is no longer a little boy now. He is all grown up getting ready for the next stage of his life; college. Now before I go on I must inform you that he is not a freshman. He went to Kean for a year and decided he wanted the campus life. I am really sad at this point because I realize this is it. I will not see him all the time like I did. I know he will be home very so often but it just won’t be the same. In the house will be my mother, my father, and me, the middle child, with all eyes on me.
. . .
Eleven a.m finally arrived and I don’t know about you, but I am starving and I know my father is. At eleven is a welcome buffet luncheon to family and students. My mom, dad, and I stood in line waiting for our turn to get some food. We filled up our plates and walked over to the tables to sit down and get started. Most of the tables were in the sun and we cant control the sun, so we just sat down anyway and began eating. Joining us at the table was my brother and one of his female friends. She is like a sister to him than a girlfriend. So we all ate and what not. We had a half hour to kill before the welcome ceremony held in the hall. It was a welcome and goodbye ceremony all in one. We walked around a little and even stopped in to see the basketball arena. My brother is extremely excited and even as the day went on I could see the excitement and nervousness in him.
. . .
A little boy with curly hair is running around the front yard laughing and having a ball, as his father is video taping him. Meanwhile this little girl is going up to the camera saying “film me daddy film me me daddy me.” The camera is now on this little girl as the boy is running around the yard. Now the camera has left this little girl and is now back to the boy.
. . .
The bookstore was crowded with parents and students looking at all the school merchandise and books that they will need to be getting. My brother couldn’t wait to get a sweatshirt, and so we all over there browsing through. Moving the hangers, I looked for a size large for him. He tried it on and it was a perfect fit. The smile on his face grew bigger as he proudly walked over to the mirror to check himself out. My mom’s phone rang and it was her sister. Recently, my grandmother found out she had cancer and it hasn’t been the same. My mother has been on edge and it is upsetting to see. She knows she will be losing her mom and the fact that my brother is going away to school just adds to her emotions. My dad bought the sweatshirt and a shot glass as joke. As he was paying I was looking at short sleeve shirts wanting one. My mother told me I am not going here I don’t need one. Today is your brothers day, not yours.
. . .
Two p.m. came and people began gathering by the door getting ready to walk in to the gym. Ohhh Starbucks! I could go for a coffee. Ehh I survived this long I don’t need one. As everyone was walking in they were giving away t-shirts and game cards for students. The game cards were for the students. It was a contest they were invited to attend all the activities on the card and if they do their card would be put into a raffle to win a semester of free books. I took a card.
. . .
Throughout the day I kind of wished it were me. I never experience the moving away at college. I had the choice to live away and I decided not to. Part of me wished it was me and part of me was glad it wasn’t. I honestly don’t think I could do it. Not that it would be hard, but I am so used to my parents and being home that I would really miss it. Its not that I am immature and can’t function on my own, I just don’t think I could do it. The attention wasn’t on me today it was on my brother, and I was a little jealous. The attention from our parents was always split as evenly as it could be. I always wanted the attention on me, and when I didn’t get it I would feel left out. Well today I wasn’t getting the attention.
. . .
The ceremony began with a video from the freshman orientation. Then we heard from some parents and students. The president came to speak to everyone. He talked about the school and welcoming everyone. Then he asked everyone in the audience to stand and put our hands on the student, so my father, my mother and I put our hands on my brother and said a prayer.
(Note to self, find the paper with the prayer)

I remember those tears. Tears falling from her eyes. My mother lost it and started to cry. The past week she has been a wreck because her baby son is going away to college. Seeing my mother crying knowing how sad she was I started to tear up too. My “little brother” is going away to college. After a few moments we hugged my brother and the ceremony was over. We got up and proceeded out of the hall.
. . .
“It’s my turn to use the computer! No my turn! You been on it for an hour already, and I want to check my email! You have no mail. Mom! He won’t let me on the computer, he’s been on it for a long time and I want to go on now. Give him five more minutes, then you can go on.”
. . .

We proceeded over to the dorms one last time to check it out before it was that time of the day. Time to leave without him. Back at the dorm we talked some more with his roommate Matt and Mike and Matt’s parents. Then we said our goodbyes and left to go to the van. We hugged and kissed my brother goodbye as we went to the van.

We got into the van and my mother was going to pull up by the dorms. (She had later moved it back to the lot because she couldn’t keep it parked by the dorms) My brother didn’t need his fridge thanks to his new roommate Matt, and so he was going to bring it back down and put it in the van.

Pulling up to the dorm one last time I felt the emotions flowing. It is hitting me that this is where my brother is going to be for the next semester. My mom pulled up and got out. She told me to stay in the van because I didn’t need to get out. Since It was getting late in the day, we were all becoming cranky, and I didn’t want to sit in the car with my father. I wanted to say goodbye again to my brother. I jump out and ran to catch up with my mom only to be sent back to the van. I get back in the van with a puss on my face.

My brother came over to the van to say goodbye one last time. I remember that hug and kiss on the cheek like it was yesterday. Hugging him saying “I love you and I will miss you Michael. “You too Shannon” then it hit me as I sat in the van watching my mother turn around to leave I startled bawling saying I am going to miss him. And I was going to.

I didn’t think it was going to be as hard as it turned out to be. Sure he is only forty-five minutes away, but its different because I wont be seeing him all the time like I did. Upstairs is going to be lonely and it will just be the middle child in the house. As I am finishing this last sentence, the tears are building up. Hey! I think I hear a familiar voice coming from downstairs…

Blog# 17: Reflection on classmates' comments

After class on monday, I remain with the same idea i had beforehand. Im going to stick with the magnet concept. My classmates gave me some feedback related to my idea. =)

Blog 16: Idea for Draft of Essay 4

So I just finished my draft of essay three. I feel happy and excited. It wasnt easy because it took me a great deal of time before I was finally able to come up with an idea. Now that three is typed, I now have to think about four.

As I closed the refrigerator, I looked at the magnets and pictures that were on the fridge. On the freezer are alot of magnets and photos.On the actual fridge part are magnets and a sticker of where my siblings and I went to college. One of them is a Rider magnet, where my brother is currently attending. Im thinking of maybe taking the magnet as the object and writing an essay of the night before/ day of when he left for college. Magnets attract and sometimes they don't. My brother and I didnt always get along, we had the typical brother and sister relationship. Now although i dont see him often, we have a good relationship. I'm thinking of writing about that. I currently have the story of the night before/ the actual day in mind. Im feeling confident that I have a topic in mind, haha. What do you guys think?